Jack is the (Outside) Man!

Posted: September 30, 2013 in Uncategorized

Jack is the (Outside) Man!


They should let me write an advertisement for ILP with real substance:
*Man in Green shirt approaches*
“Have You been the victim of a Political Horn?”
“Did You kiss all the ass you could, and still ended up with nothing, or not enough?”
“Did the PNM, UNC, COP, UTT, NBA, CNC3, Ali’s Roti Shop…”
*Man on street interupts*: “But wait nuh, what you talking about now, you not making sense.”
*Man in Green Responds*
“Listen boy, it doh haadda make no sense. I mean, Excuse me Sir, but you are not seeing the bigger picture.”
“We have a place for You!”
“Don’t bargain and rent out your Morals and Integrity. Sell them Outright!”
“Join the ILP today! And Remember:”
*Jack Warner runs past kicking a Golden FIFA Ball and interjects*
“Tell them Jack Warner say, I.L.P. stand for ‘I Lie Plenty’*
*Everyone hugs and has a laugh, watching the Camera*


With Local Government Elections around the corner, and General Elections 1 and a Half Years away, some rats are fleeing from the sinking Partnership, and others who can’t seem to garden well enough to grow a Balisier are clamoring to the stereotypical weird guy who you know as “Uncle.” The kind who is not really related to you and that your parents don’t want you around alone. Coming with candy and treats when you were to young to understand a bribe, now you are all grown up and he is still coming with candy, but now you should know better what is coming when you are asked to come home with him (especially with his brand new $7M headquarters). So who is the one driving the Green Van? Everyone’s Favorite (especially Jr. Sammy’s Firetruck Department and FIFA’s retired head cabal), Trinidad’s very own Uncle Jack!


The idea that a party could form and fight an election in a few weeks, far less offer an entire Local Government Campaign is not too feasible to put it lightly. The illusion of Jack the Man-o-Action being all that it takes to pull this off is a farcry from the truth, which is, he’s been on the outskirts planning all along. Eyeing down everyone’s spouse and flirting when their backs were turned, the Generalissimo created more than just a legacy of abuse of power paired with corrupt practices. Now with his own symbol and full control of a party without a Constitution, Conscious or Cause, whoever wants a piece is welcome to come.


Former UNC Senators, MPs, and a bunch of current sitting PP Local Government Councillors have already defected and lent their name and reputation in exchange for the backing of the Green Giant. In all honesty some are not that bad and see this as a vehicle to make a difference. But again, they seem to forget who the driver is, and what his destination has always been…

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