Archive for January, 2014

2013 Steups Awards

Posted: January 1, 2014 in Uncategorized

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top seatIt’s Time now for the the First Annual TRINI WORLD VIEWS ‘STEUPS AWARDS’!’ The recipients are not those who showed the normal ass like behaviour, o no, but those who have shown exceptional levels of ‘assness’ in politics and society, such to the extent that all we can do is Steups. I would like to introduce the MC for this prestigious award ceremony, who is also the recipient of tonight’s “Assness on Stage” Award. Ladies and Gentlemen, the PP MC who made the infamous statement during the THA Election; that PNM stands for “Punish Niggers More,”… wait… we have just gotten word that he has been unseen since such a statement, but his Award will be sent to Ashworth Jack’s $4M Pumpkin Planter’s House in Tobago. Now without further ado, here are the rest of tonight’s Awards.

parkerFirst in the Social Category we have a double award Recipient, copping the ‘Yuh Buy dat License or What? Award’ AND the ‘Imbecile Parker of the Year Award.’ Here we see a verse out of the Muslim’s Qu’ran, and he was on other occasions seen with this removed from his back glass and a phrase from the Hindu’s Holy Book (Bhagavad Gita). He displays this proudly while parked across 2 handicapped spots yet again, despite not being handicapped. He was only a hair away from winning the ‘Religiously Retarded’ Award, but was disqualified as our Judges could not decide which religion he belonged too, and none wanted to claim him. PCR 5507, 2 Awards in one night? Only an exceptionally inconsiderate moron could consecutively pull this off. Congrats….

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The ‘No Shame (Citizen’s Award)’ goes to the Maraval KFC car pack Pisser, showing us that when it’s that time, it’s that time no matter what. Bathroom inside? nah man, let’s just whip it out in front of adults and passing school children alike and handle the scene. If anyone tells you something, just cuss them like he did and receive this Award.

5ojqtIn the Political Category we have the ‘No Shame (Public Figure)’ Award goes to our Honourable Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar, for her conduct during her “Victory Speech” following the Local Government Elections. I’ll say no more are let the clip do the talking- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rhf1eP_7zkg

‘Biggest Bullshitter Award’- Jack Warner, moving on…

fmThe ‘Political Grasshopper Award’ goes to a new figure in politics (if so much), Faaiq Mohammed for crossing the floor from the ILP to the UNC almost immediately after winning a Local Government seat on an ILP ticket. This young man hopped right over to the opposing side without information or notice and for that receives this award (as well as a position that deals with the most expenditure in the City Corporation). He has also, via his action, prompted widespread use of the phrase “You got Faaiqed.”

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The ‘Politically Basodee Award‘ without a doubt goes to Khadijah Ameen. The defeated Chag West candidate who reportedly was taken to Movietowne by her UNC Youth Arm Executive supporters on the night of the election in search of a seat, calls Basdeo Panday desperate and implies he’s irrelevant. She has made comments to dismiss those who have called her out on this, yet no statement to deny what was said. For her disrespect to one of the most beloved politicians (as far as that goes anyway) man that built the castle in which she now occupies a fancy room in (as well as a high paying state adviser job which she has proven incompetent to many in her experience), she gets a massive Steups, and an Award.

download (42)The ‘Sinking Ship (Party Award)’ is arguably the most sought after Award by any organization, based on the fight for it. From 2010- mid 2012 the PNM fought viciously to hold onto this, but the UNC (more affectionately refereed to as the ‘People’s Partnership’), made a strong bid for this with the SoE 2011, and then grabbed full hold of it in 2012 with Section 34. Who would have expected however, that Jack Warner would single handily have snatched up in a matter of months, what every other party in the country worked 3 years at. The one man show of the Independent Liberal Party (ILP) receives this Award for the Year.

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The ‘Honourary Trini Award’ for the year will go to a late yet valid entry. This year Dr. Dong Pyou Han (US Researcher from an Iowa University) came out with a breakthrough in an HIV/AIDS Vaccine, which he received a Grant for, revealing after that he tampered with the lab tests to make the results favourable. Falsifying this info and creating a global bacannal wasn’t enough however to win this Steups, what sealed the deal with His statement made after the $19M USD Grant went to his research team (which stated that the money would not be refunded). The Statement: Han has agreed to ‘avoid any contracting or subcontracting work with a government agency for three years, and has promised not to serve in any type of “advisory capacity” to the US Public Health Service.’ Only a Trini would be so boldface to act as if he had the option and is being somehow noble by agreeing not to take up the opportunity. In addition to the regular prizes, Dr. Han will also receive a Trini Passport, much to the vex-ation of many Jamaicans.

So there you have it for the Year End 2013. Each Winner has received a “Stueps-y” Trophy, a plaque with their name engraved on the backdrop of an upside down flag, and a week’s supply of doubles made from the discounted flour and oil that sold out in the 2-Days before Christmas. However reports have come in that everyone has gotten the wrong plaque as our own Therese Baptiste-Cornelis was the ones handing out the Prizes.  5twhh

All the best wishes for the new Year 2014, and remember that if you try hard enough, you to can Win a Steups :).

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