A Plan Brought to Light

Posted: October 17, 2014 in Uncategorized

As Port of Spain was plunged into darkness as night fell and all power went out, one writer decided to dawn a flash light and cape and position himself on the rooftop of the Prime Minister’s residence to get the scoop on what was really going on. Unfortunately the only thing to be found there was Mr. Bissessar home alone as usual, so I retired to the bar around the corner to drown my sorrows in an ice cold Ginseng Up. As luck would have it there the PM and Cabinet were hard at work in the “field” at that very location discussing the current blackout.

art3PM: “Hear here! I call this meeting to order!”
AG: “A nip of rum and some curry goat for me.”
Prakash: “I’ll have whatever you tell me, as usual.”
PM: “Not that kinda order all ya. I mean I myself will have will have what I have been advised to as always, but we have more important matters to discuss. Divali coming up and Trinidad have no power.”
MoNS: “I find so, lewe call out the troops, take back the power!”
AG: “Nah madam PM, give the power to me *whispers to PM* Ah feel all ah dem is really ah PNM, yuh only safe with me”
Prakash: “Power, what’s that?”
PM: “No no no, nobody understands what is going on. Like the hunger strike affecting we minds now.”
AG: “Mi Lady, we are not the ones on hunger strike, Kublalsingh is.”
PM: “O yes that is true. But aint we have a man on that scene too?”
AG: “Yeah but I dunno what he doing really, man start 3 weeks after Kubs, and he skinny with a pot belly. Very unattractive.”
PM: “Anand careful, you know you too picky, you should be more like me and accept anyone passing…for government that is.
Prakash: “I’ve been a good boy Ms Kamla.”
PM: “Yes you have Prakash, take another board position for COP and quiet now, adults are speaking. Now where were we? Ah yes, power outage.”

art2AG: “It is a PNM plot no doubt.”
PM: “No doubt, but how do we handle this? Anyone?”
MoNS: “Call out the troops.”
PM: “Yes but No.”
Prakash: “Stay quiet and do nothing?”
PM: “Yes but No.”
AG: “Commission of Inquiry”
PM: “Yes but No.”
Just then a mysterious hunched figure enters the room and exclaims:
“Tell them to Go Ask Dey Mudda!”
PM: “My former colleague, and ringmaster! Now the real talk begin!”

AG: “He ah PNM now, tell him leave.”
Jack: “Watch, first of all I am still your colleague, unless Chag West change hands already. Furthermore doh let me tell the public which rings I master when I was tell you what to do and who, er, when. Yesterday was today, and Today is Tomorrow, remember that.”
PM: “I think you quote yourself wrong but then again I have more important things to deal with, where that blasted bartender?”
Jack: “Well truth be told, I just pass through cuz I heard there was a circus and there can be no circus worth its salt without me, so I go take some curry duck and leave.”
AG: “Just doh touch meh goat.”
Jack: “I gone with that one, this Government worse a catastrophe than when I was in it. Catastrophe, that’s a big word, write that down.”
*Exits Jack*

The PM and her Cabinet Members sit in council for another hour and deliberate the details of a carefully thought out plan of action, and from what I overheard this was the first draft of their release (Keep in mind that this is merely their first draft which is subject to ‘cleaning up’ :
Press Release to the Nation:
Office of the Prime Minister

It is with great disappointment that we announce that the PNM has shut down all lights in the country. We the Government see this as a blatant disrespect to the Hindu Community, for reasons that we will later come up with to make sure we maintain the Indian vote base despite only looking for those in our income bracket. As for the Muslim Indians the Prime Minister will just wear a Hijab for Eid, and try to lock up the Black ones, but be assured that the PNM is the real enemy here. Further to this the Honourable AG is in the process of appointing a Commission of Inquiry into what really went on, and why there are so many people with fair skin living in the north of the country. For our safety the Minister of National Security will be sending out all Security forces, need or not, or else we will just move the department under the Prime Minister’s Office and do as we please from there. And Finally, rest assured that we will be handing out as many contracts as it takes to fix this issue, and that not a cent of tax dollars will be spared, until the treasure is in decades of debt, and we have our electricity back to watch Netflix in peace. In these troubled times, please use this press release as a prime example of what this Government is all about – ‘Your Government working for Who?’

END Release.
[Please note that this article is for entertainment purposes and a work of pure political satire].

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