Archive for March, 2015

Political Policing Policy

Posted: March 25, 2015 in Uncategorized

ppp3Yesterday the entire country will gripped with a gridlock that effectively shut down the nation for the day. Far worse that the flood rains that usually create a panic and cause an excuse to cut productivity for the day, the Police engaged in what they called “Total (bullshit) Policing.” The Roadblock set up at critical traffic arteries at high traffic hours and the action of letting only 1 vehicle through at a time frustrated the nation, and made the cause of this apparent. Officers smiled and “did their job” with a less than noble intent, this following the failure of the CPO to agree on a reasonable raise in salary, making it obvious that they were conducting an illegal industrial action that amounted to Legal Terrorism against the Citizens of TnT in mass. Now the serious issues, what are the implications and what news from the top? Let’s get into the meat of these issues now, how about with some simple questions based on statements made? And for the hell of It I’ll attempt to answer the questions in the most transparent way possible. Note: The questions are based on the facts, the answers…well it may be more factual that some would like.

To the Acting Commissioner of Police and Ranking Officers of the Police Welfare Association:
Q: You said yesterday that you wish to distance the TTPS from the the Road Blocks, what does this mean?
A: The TTPS wishes to distance itself from itself. We have however been unsuccessful in creating more distance than people were allowed to travel yesterday so we have to issue a new statement.

Q: The new statement was that this is part of a Planned Initiative called “Total Policing?” And if so, who sets the policy?
A: Why yes it is. You see we realized after we said we didn’t now anything, that in fact we did. And we take full credit for this.

Q: The exercise however yielded less that 15 arrests nationwide, and cost us Millions in daily business profit as a nation, lack of production, and was considered to have been handled so poorly it could not possible have had law enforcement as an objective.
A: You a detective? And we ask you that legitimately, because we need them bad right now, Dana’s killers still on the lose and we struggling for 2 years to verify an email with google. Better yet you into tech? Cuz I self cah figure out this Gmail ting.

Q: Do you realize that by this about turn and now claiming that it is part of a plan, you at the top have assumed not only responsibility but also accountability for this exercise?
A: We are the top police, we not responsible. Ever.

Q: If this was indeed a properly planned policy initiative, then why have you as Commissioner said that an investigation into this exercise will be done and concluded in 2 weeks.
A: My first instinct would be to tell you to be glad we investigating something, and crack you a slap, then maybe facilitate you with a cell. But I am in a more senior and respectable position now, so let me explain to you how this works in a comprehensive manner- We have sought earlier to distance ourselves, from ourselves. So that we can now investigate ourselves, for the actions of ourselves. Following this we will ourselves be fully accountable to ourselves for the actions of ourselves. Understand?

Q: Ummm, a bit. Does this mean that if there is wrongdoing discovered, you will send a vehicle out to make a round by the roundabout, come back and arrest yourselves?
A: Nah, no vehicle available.

Questions to the PM and Minister of National Security (MoNS):
Q to MoNS: Mr. Minister, Were you aware of this “Total Policing” policy when you assumed office?
A: I barely set my nameplate on the desk and all this already? Leme settle in and I’ll see what is what.

Q:But Mr Minister, did you say that this was part of a National Security Operation?
A: I wake up to hear the police on the road locking down the nation. So I went to the PM and she assured me that this was part of my plan. So yes it was a National Security Operation..I think.

Q: Mr Minister, did this type of policy form from anything that the last 4 Ministers did?
A: Wait, I’m the 5th Minister appointed?! Well hear this, that in itself tells you it’s not up to me, for anything.

Q:Then who is responsible?
A: I just do what the PM tells me, ask her. The 5th yes, cah trust some women boy, she tell me it was only 1 before me.

ppp2Q to the PM: Madam PM, you said that the country should not be held ransom by a small group, and that the police were assuring us of this by doing their job.
A: I fired Jack, Sharma, and Anand. So the group is getting smaller. Moonilal, Devant, and Suruj still there. My hope is that the group gets smaller so that it would just be 1 or 2 of us holding the country to ransom, that way it would be what is called in business a Monopoly or Duopoly. This is how we plan to reform the economy as well.

Q: Madam PM, weren’t you referring to the bandits? I mean the ones from Laventille and such?
A: Oooo, I thought you were referring to the ones in Cabinet, my apologies,

Q: Madam PM: The public sees this as industrial action, what is your comment on the failed wage negotiations that have frustrated the police to this extent? And further, what about the frustration of affected citizens by this action?
A: I would like to assure the nation that Your Prime Minister is making a salary that is FAR above any serviceman, plus all of the outside deals keep my friends and financiers well fattened from the same tax dollars we aren’t paying police. And as to your second question, the citizens of TnT need not fear, Your Prime Minister does not even touch the road at the blocked points, we have enough Helicopters to transport me and mine at a moment’s notice. As for the Jr Ministers, there are police sirens that will part traffic for them. That is performance!

Our country saw a situation yesterday where the police held us to ransom over the Government’s inaction to improve the quality of life of the serviceman. In the mad scramble to make the public feel safe. Those in positions of authority and power are on record lying to us, giving statements within 24 hrs that are totally the opposite of each other. We have reached a stage where the brokenness of state institutions have led us to the borderline of being a failed state. The next few months will be election time, and the season already has caused tension all around. An administration run amok has led us to a randomized situation where we see no reform in sight and only ‘Political Policing Policy.”

Political For-Rum

Posted: March 11, 2015 in Uncategorized

The most important drink of the day according to the Ministry of Health in conjunction with the Office of the Prime Minister and the Ministry of Arts and Multiculturalism

As the nation has been made aware by the numerous advertisements about, the UNC has launched their 2015 campaign with their televised Circus known as the “Monday Night Forum (” Resembling less of a forum format and a more of political parade on stage filled with false ‘facts,’ fanatic yelling, and a couple of clueless candidates playing for time, this constituted more of a comic relief than genuine cause for concern. Given the following conversation behind the scenes in a backstage meeting, one can see just how shallow yet entertaining the issues go:

4rumKamla: So…how yall think it went?
Prakash: Always great Madam PM
Kamla: No Praks I need someone serious to talk, and no one gave you permission to answer.
Sanko: I know I am new here Madam PM, but I think it went very very well. I mean the PNM will really rise with this.
Kamla: I told you before Sanko, this is the U. N. C. you are in. Anil wasn’t sure if he was COP or UNC, but o gosh man keep it in the Partnership.
Prakash: Like me! No matter what I’m in the Partnership. Reshmi, Section 34, Firetruck, Prisongate, Witness tampering, I know where I stand.
Sanko: He for real?

Kamla: Just give him a doggie buscuit, he’ll be quiet. Now I need an honest opinion, when I called for a Motion of No Confidence in the Opposition Leader, did I sound like a fool? I mean I haven’t read the law on that so I’m not sure.
Anand: My lady, why do you question yourself so? Did I not in my time as AG recommend you (as well as myself) as an SC, and was it not you who approved yourself (and myself)? You are right no matter what!
Kamla: Yes but a motion of no confidence is supposed to be a measure to keep the Government accountable to Parliament, it doesn’t provide nor make sense in Law, and no Speaker of the House with half a brain would hear that.
Anand: Yes but we have Wade Mark so don’t worry. And we have the majority in Government so even if nothing comes of the vote, we will win it and it will make a good headline. Imagine though, if we could really have the power to remove the Opposition at our whim.
Kamla: Yes but you went and waste the citizen’s trust since Section 34, so we can’t get a law like that passed, not at the moment anyway.

4rum 3Sanko: Permit me to enter this conversation, my Associate’s degree in English makes me think you should reword what you all are saying.
Anand: Stick to kicking ball boy, I was twisting the law and in scandals before you even sign a single SIS deal.
Kamla: Quite right, he is still the de facto AG.
Nicholas: Well I am the appointed AG, so do you think I can get a word in? Or at least appoint a single member of my staff?
Anand: Watch nuh, dem boys take a lot to be there.
Kamla: Come on, we know it is only a little.
Anand: Okay fair enough, but I still in charge.
Nicholas: Got it, sorry. Anyone against it, ALL AH DEM IS PNM anyway
Anand: That’s my line.
Sanko: Daz yuh job too.

Kamla: One last thing. We said that PNM was responsible for the 1932 Labour riots. PNM wasn’t formed in 1954?
Anand: Look, simple logic, PNM always wrong, so if they say they were formed in 1954, and we say they were behind a 1932 riot, they are wrong and we are right.
Kamla: Okay just making sure.
Sanko: Another issue, we said there were 15 000 people in attendance, but I wanted to run a small goal sweat at the meeting and couldn’t make enough for 2 teams.
Anand: There were a few hundred, I think, the pictures showed at least a classroom full.
Kamla: Like no one get the memo? The ones who did would have seen that many, I personally did.
Sanko: What memo, there was one before the Forum?
Kamla: No no no, you all have it wrong from the get go. It is the Monday night for Rum.
All in unison: Oooooo!

The lights dim as the politicians exits, newly leased Helicopters at $2000USD an hr and 12 man security teams at the ready. All at tax payer’s expense.

4rum 4

The sentiments of any serviceman who takes on the rubbish the politicians push in their ears on assignment

This was a piece of Satire to draw relevance to matters proclaimed on the platform and is not an actual/factual conversion between the persons mentioned (as far as we know anyway).