TnT Named Island Paradise

Posted: April 2, 2015 in Uncategorized

Paradise concept.
Forbes Online Observation Library has recently named Trinidad and Tobago the number #1 island destination in the World. Thanks to a joint effort by our beloved Prime Minister and the good people of Trinidad and Tobago, We have as a Nation reached near utopia status. This was in no way an easy task but through hard work we have finally reached as a people. The following is a list of how this has been accomplished from both ends of the spectrum.

The Government:
-Anti-Corruption Laws: These new laws have seen every politician and financer who has smuggled even a powermint under the counter locked up for a period of no less than 20years.

-Misbehaviour in Cabinet Held to Law: Those whose misconduct was acknowledged and confirmed by the PM by firing of a Cabinet member will be held accountable to the law, rather than simply see an early retirement.

-‘False Paper’ Holders Liable for Fraud: Fraudulent behavior of those who obtained high state jobs with false qualifications has seen real justice by being made to pay the state back every cent that they earned by their job under their false pretense, and then be further charged under regular fraud regulations.

-Civil Service Evaluation: The civil and public service has received a complete manpower and human recourse audit to ensure efficiency in performing duties.

-Proper Accounting: The Solicitor General who audits Ministries has for the last 4 years been ignored when producing accounts showing that documents and costs from various Ministries were duplicated and funds up to the 100s Millions were simply missing. The Government has begun the process of locking up those Ministers who failed to produce documentation of contracts awarded.  Former AGs awarding $34Ms in legal work as $340M will never again happen.

-FIU: The Financial Investigation Unit has partnered with all major banks and those who are moving large sums of money or making outrageous purchases without the salary to match will be immediately detained and assets frozen, and liable to jail time if no legitimate source of income can be shown.

-Elections: Fixed Elections dates for the first time in TnT history. Tomorrow the Prime Minister will announce the 2015 General Election Date, and new legislation to avoid any Government every again holding the country to ransom by withholding election Dates.


The Citizens
-Trini Safe Drivers: Trinidadians have been infamous for horrible driving. Coming from over a hundred road fatalities a year and the recent death of 8 persons on the road for the week, Trinis decided enough was enough. There has been a massive movement where drivers on the roads of Trinidad and Tobago have begun displaying lane discipline, use of indicators, obeying of speeding laws, and most of all stopped the drunk driving that a 12,000-22,500 fine could not halt.

-Joint Fight Against Crime: Citizens of gang controlled areas of TnT who have been benefiting from bribery of criminals have finally reached their moral breaking point. Over 400 murders a year and endless crime, those who have harbor criminals have spoken up, flooding 800-TIPS/999 will ‘tip-offs,’ allowing the police (who can now do their job because of the new vehicle monitoring technology that ensures they are in their squad cars and responding to calls) to do their jobs and really crack down on crime in our Nation.


-Boycott of Extravagant Parties: Given the economic strains that the country is under, members of the public in mass have decided that it is unreasonable to pay in the range of $600-$3000 for a carnival fete, especially when they themselves owe rent, car payments, etc. This was expected to be met with panic from Fete promoters but they were surprisingly supportive saying that they understand, that it was a good run, and they will pull their prices back down to only a few hundred dollars a party. This will see more people enjoying themselves at a responsible financial cost, and the promoters will still make a large profit, just not extort the public.

-Public Health Awareness: The public has realize that our trini diet of Doubles for Breakfast, KFC for Lunch, Macaroni Pie for Dinner, is perhaps not the best thing for our general health. Steady exercise (other than wining), combined with a healthy diet has seen a significantly reduced strain on our public health centres. One citizen interviewed about his new found health was happily eating a ‘Guilt-Free Doubles,’ which is basically a doubles with no bara, no channa, no ‘sweet sauce,’ and no pepper. The vendor, more popularly known as ‘de cucumber man’ from the PoS market, announced his intention of setting up stalls on every major intersection in TnT.
We have finally reached…. Happy April Fools everyone.

  1. Wilma McKenzie says:

    “No bara” lol! At first I thought you were dreaming until I saw the date. Safe driving, honest politians, tidy (except for their own homes) and law-abiding citizens……Never happen in T&T!

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